Craig and I went to bible study on Sunday. We talked about how important communication in our marriage and the biblical principles that surrounded marriage.
One important aspect we touched on as a married group is the importance on putting your spouse before your children.

As a new parent, I am guilty of putting Isabelle’s needs before Craig’s. Of course – she needs me in different ways – in all ways – since she can’t do anything for herself. Imagine if she could didn’t need me for meals, to do her laundry, to clean her room…wait a sec…I do all these things for Craig too…hmmm 😉

But, then someone brought up the number 216.

216 – that’s the number of months until your kid turns 18 and is supposed to leave the house…

Seems like a big number, right?

Looking at it now….it seems very, very, small.

Biblically – we raise children up for them to leave us. And then after we leave, we have still have our spouse. That’s why it’s so important for husbands and wives to communicate with one another – to have regular date nights – to continue to get to know each other through the years when the kids are in the home. Because one day – the kids will leave. One of my greatest fears is Isabelle and maybe Baby H. #2 walking out the door and going off to school, leaving our home, and leaving behind 2 people who are now strangers.

What if they leave and I look at Craig and I don’t know him anymore because of the time and effort we put into our kids and stopped putting effort towards our marriage? Will I know all of my childrens’ favorite foods, favorite places, favorite stories, favorite hobbies but then look at the man I’ve been married to (God willing) for over 20 years and not know the man he evolved to while I was so focused on soccer games, cheerleading, PTA, etc?


Luckily – I have a really great husband who plans regular date nights, makes sure we have quiet time each day to reconnect and talk about our lives…

But, man, I am guilty of just wanting to head to bed after a long day, not say a word to anyone after Isabelle’s been put down, and get some rest…

Motherhood is hard – no matter if you stay at home or work outside the home. You add a marriage in that – the work – truly – WORK that it involves to keep it exciting, relevant to the times, intimate, and really – just a priority…and that’s a lot to squeeze in an 18 hour day.


The small little number also makes me rethink why I try to rush Isabelle. I’m always wishing her to do more. When she was a wee one – I kept wishing for her to just hold her head up, sit up, hold her bottle, play with her toys…

Now – I blinked and she’s developed so quickly. She’s sitting up, crawling, eating baby food, babbling and gasp – pulling up! Pretty soon I’ll have a toddler…

Craig and I were talking about all of this and how quickly time is going by and how fast she’s developing. He started to rub his head like he does when he gets upset and looks at me and says “Soon we’ll have to deal with all the girl stuff…”

Really? And I laughed because after all this time he still can’t look at me and talk maturely about – well – girl stuff...

At least I know after 216 months – I’ll still have a husband that makes me laugh…


  1. Erin Crista says:

    Great post! I'm sitting here feeling sad because 216 doesn't seem like enough time… I agree that putting your Husband first is the right thing to do but I know I'm guilty of doing the opposite. Thanks for giving me something to think about today – maybe Hubby will come home to something special this evening! 🙂

  2. Justin and April says:

    This is one of my favoite posts of yours. It's so easy to get wrapped up in our little ones and forget our priorities – God first, husband second and children third. We give so much of us to our children but when daddy gets home and babies are put to bed, we are to become a wife again. Who said being a woman wasn't hard. Well, atleast we're doing it together! Thanks for putting it all into perspective. Something I strive for everyday- to be the best mother of Haisley, wife of Justin, and the best daughter of God. Wait, reverse those for the right order :).