#90

We took Step I today.

Little One, I love nothing more than feeling you squirm and kick. It reminds me of the blessing I’m carrying and the fact that you’re growing and getting stronger.

So, I’m not going to be upset at the fact that you felt like kicking at 3:00AM the night before the exam. Normally, I shift positions and you’ll stop. But last night, I think you could feel the nervous energy and you thought it was morning time. So, we were up – you kicking and me thinking and smiling as your little foot rammed itself into my ribs :-)

Since I only got a few hours of sleep, I was tired the moment I walked into the testing center. I only had a half cup of coffee because I didn’t want to be jittery since I was already nervous. It didn’t do much but it did help a bit.

Your kicks were life savers. I was so tired and every time I would start to feel my eyes droop, you’d kick. When I didn’t know an answer and needed to guess, I’d think in my head ok – “A, B, C, D, or E”…..I’d go through each choice and if you kicked on a certain letter, that’s what I’d choose. If I was torn between a couple of choices and really couldn’t pick I’d go with my gut…and almost every time I thought of an answer, you’d kick!!

I walked away knowing I didn’t do well. But I walked away knowing that whatever God’s will for the test has already been determined…so for that…I am grateful!

When you’re much older, you’ll realize life is tough and you’ll be faced with tough choices and be taken down paths you’d never thought you’d go on. You’ll be surprised at where God will lead you, look back on an experience and see the true purpose of the moment, and look forward with uncertainty the future promises but the certainty of God’s promises for the future.

So, another milestone reached for us – you, me and Daddy – we’ve moved past this point in my medical school career. Now, we wait and see where God takes us next. For the first time in a long time, I’m filled with peace at where God wants me and know He’ll show me what he wants of me next.

Thanks for being there for me today, sweet Baby! I couldn’t have done it without you!

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

so now…we wait