I woke up crying today.
I looked over and Craig wasn’t there. There was no one to talk to in the hotel room. He sent me a text saying he missed me and hoped I could meet him and Isabelle for dinner. I miss my best friend.
I woke up crying because it’s been almost a week since I held Evan.
I miss the weight and the warmth of his body in my arms. I miss the cramping in my shoulders from my stillness – when I was still because I would fear waking up my boy and disturbing his slumber.
I got to the hospital and I walked in his room.
He opened his eyes and looked so out of it. So heavily drugged to keep him calm and for his pain.
I cried again – missing the moments I would just stare into his eyes and Evan would look back at me. Searching my face – learning about me.
His face scrunched up, his lower lip turned down, suddenly turning red.
He’s crying.
But, silence
Tears.
Just, silence.
I miss hearing him cry.
But, he’s still here.
He’s healing.
He’s fighting.
He’ll be himself soon.
Soon, I pray. My boy will be himself soon.
Thinking of you and your family and praying for your brave lil’ warrior.
The silent cries…so hard. I remember them so well…they made me feel even worse than when Hope would cry out loud.
Many prayers for you and your family. I hope you got home for dinner tonight.