Choosing the skinny vanilla latte…

…instead of the Caramel Brulee Latte. Because let’s be honest – if you’re gonna spend $5 on coffee – get something good

That’s the kind of regret I feel these days.

Last week – I was chatting with an acquaintance (why does that word need to have a “C”…sorry…I digress…) – about how crazy the past year has been.

She asked me about Isabelle and about being a stay at home mom. We talked about how soon – many of my friends from medical school – will be done with school and get their M.D. degrees and start residency. We talked about how fast time has flown since recently and how Father Time hit the fast forward button on all my days.

Then she asked, “Do you regret not going to back to school right way after Isabelle was born? You could almost be done.”

Since she wasn’t a really close friend, I just answered “Of course not.” And changed the subject. Because any other answer – well it just wouldn’t be right….

Then, I had a chance to think about it – really think about it.

If I said I DID regret it – regret not going back right away – it would seem like the past few months of being a stay at home mother would be cheated somehow. If I DID regret it – I feel like I’d still be able to hold onto a part of my identity that I had nourished for so many years – the part of me that was career driven and wanted to be a doctor. If I said I DID regret it – I’d still be something more than “just” a mom.

But, really, I don’t.

I don’t regret stepping back and taking time out for my family. I tend to minimize the importance of my station in life since some view staying at home as something of less importance than a full time career. Now, 6 months into this thing – I feel confident and proud of where I am and who I am as a mother. I’ve never felt so sure of my role and purpose as I do today.
I still have career aspirations but I realize it’s not the be all, end all if I don’t finish within the “allotted” amount of time.

I’m raising child to be a good person and nurturing the heart of an eternal soul.

I regret eating that donut hole (or 6 donut holes) after a work out. I regret the thong I wore that was one size too small. I regret the time I ate 6 Fiber One bars in a row…

But regret the choice to be a full time mom over my career – nope – not for a second.

Comments

  1. Woah! 6 Fiber One Bars?!?! I bet Izzy was gassy for days :)

  2. The LaCour's says:

    Amen Momma!

  3. Lisa Parsons says:

    I can only imagine the feeling you had after 6 Fiber One Bras…yikes ;). I don't regret for a second leaving my career and staying home with Claire. We may be just stay at home Mom's but that also makes us just awesome!

  4. YAY! I love you, Czarina, and I am so proud of you and so happy for you! Oh, and 6 Fiber One Bars is child's play. :o) We know how much I love my Fiber One bars! Cant wait to see you in JUNE!!!

  5. You are so right ! Enjoy the beautiful journey of motherhood :) You're a wonderful mom :)