For my Evan

I lay my hands on your chest as you sleep and breathe.

I didn’t know love like this, but I now I do believe.

 

A love so great, a love I fear, with each new passing day.

“Just another sunrise and sunset.” I plead and I pray.

 

All the wires, the tubes, machines that beep through the night

All to make sure we get tomorrow, another day for you to fight.

 

I try to be brave, often I fail, knowing you need me to be.

And then I realize…courage…my son – that’s what you’ve taught me.

 

Every time I hold you – my heart aches for your broken one.

“Why is this happening?” “Why, God?  Why my son?”

 

I ask myself over and over – but know I may never know.

The only comfort I get – is when another day turns to tomorrow.

 

You may not show it on the outside..but your heart is so sick.

Not fully formed, fighting each day, another moment for you to live.

 

Our hospital has become a home, I never wanted it to be.

Each nurse, each doctor….have become a strange family.

 

They’ve seen sad stories of babies who’ve earned their wings too soon.

So, they fight for you…as I pray…to care for you as I do.

 

I am so proud, so honored, so grateful to be your mother.

I now know – that God truly chose me above all others.

 

To love and care for you – so I help heal your sick heart.

I knew from the moment I saw you….I knew it from the start.

 

‘For I know the plans I have for you …” declares the Lord – Jeremiah 29:11.

I know you fight each day…in honor of your heart buddies in Heaven.

 

You’ve exceeded every expectation, every dream I have for you.

You’ve been the answer to every prayer – I’ll love you through and through.

 

I don’t know what the future holds – but I know one thing for sure.

As each moment passes, as each day moves…..I’ll love you more and more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Beautiful!

  2. This is so beautiful . . . praying for you!

  3. Czarina, you are an amazing woman! Evan is a blessed little man to have you and Craig and Iz.
    Love you and praying for you!