Getting it right this Mother’s Day.

I wish I could get it “right” for once.

This Mother thing.

You know – the having dinner ready for the husband when he arrives at home with the kids playing nicely – all clean and sparkly.

The shopping for groceries and filling it with organic, nothing but stuff from farms and pastures- making sure my cart is free of things that aren’t crunchy goodness of sweet or salty – packed with ingredients that will keep that “food” on the shelves for many, many moon.

Or “disciplining” my kids with a gentle caring voice.  Never uttering words are often reserved for when you step on a Lego…or actually using only – and I mean ONLY – my inside voice to get my kids to listen to me.

Or keeping the house picked up and clean – the counter tops wiped down – the floors mopped daily – the toilets scrubbed at least once a week.

In my special case, not comparing my special needs child with other special needs kids…or even heart healthy ones….and just celebrating his accomplishments and his progress alone – and not against everyone elses.

But, I don’t.

I rarely get it right.

I think there was one day in 2008 when I had it all together.

Oh wait – I wasn’t a mom yet then.  But, then…don’t we all know how to be the “best” mom out there….before we actually birth our little miracles.

The past two years of this motherhood thing have challenged me.

Not just because of Evan and all of our ups and downs with him and his health.

But, because my sweet little toddler has morphed into a sassy, no nonsense, bundle of pre-school “I’m the queen of the world” diva.

I’ve had my share of melt downs – huddling in the corner in tears – panicking that I was about to hear a knock on my door from authorities to take my children from me  – because hell – I was failing miserably at life with my two littles.

There are moments where my day.is.done. by 7am in the morning.  In just a short hour and a half of just waking, I’m over the day after my darling children have sucked the life force out of me with their incessant whining, demanding, needing.

This Mothering business is no joke – there is no rest for the weary.  People laugh and joke about it – but so much of the sad reality are hard truths  – I don’t go to the bathroom alone – EVER.  I’m a servant to my children – truly. I cook for them, clean them, wash their belongings…I’m at their beck and call for most of the day.

I’m serving them…but that’s what a mother does.  It’s what we do….because those things – feeding them, making sure they are bathed, dressed, clean, caring for their most prized possessions – a Duck, a blankie – is what gives our children security.  It’s what makes them feel safe.  Loved.

I think the problem with this motherhood thing – is that yes – we love and would give our life for our children – we cherish our days – the sleepy nights – all those beautiful things about being a mom – but so many believe we have to do it with a smile on our face.

So many believe there is a “right” way to go through this chapter of our life – it’s evident in Pinterest, in Facebook statuses, in articles on websites on how to parent – it’s everywhere.

And what I want to to say to all those things and to you – my dear friend – the woman I’m proud to call my sister in this sorority called Motherhood – that feeling like you’re failing – IS getting it right.

Because in all honesty – if you feel like you’re not doing something right – that means you’re always striving to be better.

It means you are human – your heart is filled with emotions – not just love and patience – but anger and frustration.

There is always something that isn’t going to go right in this journey – a comedy of errors – some may say.

Sometimes getting through the day or even the hour – may feel like the biggest mountain – but you’ll get to the other side – it may be messy and ugly getting there – but you’ll get there.

So look around your messy house, tell your husband to pick up dinner, stick the kids in front of the T.V. with a snack out of the box from the pantry, maybe dial back your “mean Mommy voice” to more of a loud “inside voice”…and rejoice…

Rejoice that you may not get it “right” – may never get it right – and know you’re not the only one that has those days.  And we all know what “those” days are…

But today, let’s get it right.

Let’s celebrate that our lives aren’t perfect – they are sticky, messy, whiney, (sometimes utterly annoying), frustrating, scary for what’s to come – but they are our lives we get to share with little people who call us Mommy.

Happy Mother’s Day, friends.

 

 

Comments

  1. This is perfect! You are a very talented writer. It is so eloquently written, yet honest and raw at the same time. Thank you and Happy Mother’s Day!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    Happy Mother’s Day buddy! Well said, but it always is by you. 🙂

  3. I’m still trying to get it right after almost 22 yrs of marriage and five children later. You sound like a wonderful
    Mom.