I never…

Remember that game? Think back – pre-baby, maybe you were in college, or maybe you were just young and had no worries…

Never played?

A person says a sentence – and if you have NEVER done it – you pass on the alcoholic beverage but if you DID do it – you pound that alcoholic beverage :-)

Example:

“I’ve never parked my car on the street to drink (because I was underage…oops) an entire bottle of wine before going into a goth bar”

– POUND (yes…I did this…)

So blog readers – get ready to play
“I never …” Mommy addition

And if you aren’t a Mom yet – play anyway and answer in your head “I will never…” for when you do have a kid – then mark this blog post – and take it again when you have kids….you’ll be surprised…

If you’re brave – leave a comment with your answers or leave a comment on Facebook!!

Get your e-drink (Rum and Coke or just a Coke) and let’s play!

Ready or not….POUND or PASS!!

1. I’ve never turned the radio up so loud in the car to drown out my kid’s cries.

POUND

2. I’ve never slept in a puddle of spit up or throw up because my kid just threw up on my bed and I’m too tired to change the sheets or change my shirt.

POUND

3. I’ve never had baby envy. You know – when you look at another mom and her kid – the mom has on make up and isn’t in sweat pants – you on the other hand haven’t washed your hair in a few days and are still wearing the sweat pants and spit up stained t-shirt you had on a few days ago – and her baby is calm, quiet and happy – while your baby is screaming like she’s just seen Voldemort.

POUND.

4. I’ve never faked it with my husband. Faked sleep. (Ha – you have a dirty mind blog reader!). The sleep when you hear the baby crying on the monitor but you are waiting until your husband stops his fake sleeping and finally gets up to check on the baby. Never mind you had been up with the thing 3-4 times already…but whatever.

POUND

5. I’ve never Googled my child’s development or a symptom she had. Freaked out that she may have some serious disease then realized that maybe she’s just drooly or that maybe she isn’t supposed to do certain things for a few months – like crawling or talking or driving.

POUND

6. I’ve never Googled my child’s development and thought she was a prodigy. Yup – the fact that she really looks at her books when you read to her – pretty convinced she’s the next Doogie Howser.

POUND

7. I’ve never put the baby in the swing, the Pack and Play or in her Bumbo and let her cry while I updated my Facebook status. It is SO important to make sure all your friends on FB know what you had for lunch.

POUND

8. I’ve never put on a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans, squeezed them up my thighs, sucked in – realized they won’t fit now matter how many layers of Spanx I put on.

POUND and cry

9. I’ve never wished my husband can lactate so he can breastfeed and give me a break.

POUND

10. I never realized that having a baby would be so much work. More work than I ever could have imagined. More work than rewards…but look at your giggly, smiley, drool machine and think – man – I wouldn’t change this for the world.

POUND, POUND, POUND!