If you were a fly on my wall

you’d be laughing your wings off…

I am so very blessed to be surrounded by family that at a moment’s notice is willing to watch Izzy for a couple of hours if need be.

Today was no exception.

Yesterday was a tough day for Iz and I. We had no sleep and going to the grocery store was the last thing on my mind. I know you’re thinking…”why not send Craig?”

I’m sure he’d do a great job – but he doesn’t have the patience for price comparing, coupon hunting, and brand deciding that I do. I’d send him with a list that would include flat leaf parsley, arugula, and saffron – and he’d get tired head just walking into the produce and spice section.

Anyhoo…my mother in law was coming over today at 11am to watch Izzy while I ran to the store. Hmm…Mission Impossible – task 1…here we go…

What does that mean?

Well – since I had to go out in public, that meant I had to shower. Not to look presentable – ha! – getting makeup on this face and dusting off my blow dryer and hair straightener – yeah right – it meant I had to at least shower and get the dried, spit up smell out of my hair (this whole not taking care of myself is a whole other post – poor Craig..sorry…I digress…) I normally get into the shower around 3:30 PM – just before Craig gets home from work…and only because I don’t want him to see me in the same nursing tank top and work out shorts that I had on the night before. I’m trying to keep the romance alive, people!

Mission Impossible – “If I so chose to take it – shower and get dressed with a baby who was wide awake.”

Plan A – put baby in swing and hurry and shower. Put baby monitor by the sink and listen to Izzy in case she goes ballistic.

Scratch Plan A – I used the swing as my diversion while I picked up the house this morning and she was over the swing and screamed bloody murder when I tried putting her back in it.

Plan B – put baby in Boppy on King size bed in bedroom peak out of shower a couple of times to make sure I see a hand move or foot kick…(ok – no need to lecture me and please don’t call CPS)

Plan B it was. She hearts her Boppy so this was it.

I cleared off the bed and put the Boppy in the middle of the bed. Propped Iz in it and put pillows by her feet so she couldn’t scoot down.

Ok – she’s snoozy. This is going to work!

I start the shower, peel off the clothes, apply the Lanolin to my ________, and brush my teeth.

Hop in the shower. Getting a good lather going and starting to sing an “Ace of Base” song when…

Uh oh – I hear Iz start to whimper. Ok – it’s not an actual cry – just the typical whiney, I’m bored, come pick me up sound. I’m good…

or so I thought…

Then it came – the siren wail. The cries accompanied by loud hiccups because she can’t contain it.

Crap….hurry and rinse off.

I hop out and start to dry off. I look at the bed and my baby is not in the Boppy. Instead – there is a bright, red, screaming, crying machine with arms and legs a flailing.

Crap…hurry and try to dry off.

I start to put in my contacts when all of a sudden the cries stop. Not because she’s calmed down but because she is so mad that now we’ve reached the point where there’s silence because she’s holding her breath.

Crap…run over to her with my towel on and pick her up. She’s pissed that I’ve gotten her wet. I would have put her down but we’ve had episodes where she holds her breath so I was scared she was going to do it.

I’m drying off, holding Iz, trying to put on my nursing tank (which all you breast feeders know what a task that is if the straps aren’t hooked), trying to just put on clothes in general.

I start to panic. One of my eyes is really blurry. I’m thinking the Dove soap has blinded me and now I’m going to have to live my life with only one good eye, I’ll have to hire a driver to take me places and I’ll have to wear an eye patch to see normally.

I run to the sink and start to splash water in my eye to rinse out the “soap” I’m sure is in it. I’m still half dressed, with a crying baby….and you know what a crying baby does to lactating breastesses…..

Crap….it’s not working – the Dove soap has blinded me…

Or…I forgot to put in the other contact lens…

A day in the life of a new mother….

But, this story has a happy ending. I got dressed, Iz calmed down, and I got to go to the grocery store.

Exciting times, I tell ya!

Congrats to one of my best friends, Ashley! Her and her husband Clay welcomed Owen King on July 9th! He is such a cutie.