Jealous :-)

Today – I found myself being jealous of a 2 year old.

So much imagination, no worries about deadlines or schedules.

I wanted to tell her to clean up her mess and to use her inside voice.

But, for once, I just sat back and let her take out toy after toy, sing as loud as she could, yell with excitement about a new discovery (today….she saw a bumblebee in our living room…it was a fly).

I remember like it was yesterday that we were bringing her home.  Transitioning to being a family of 3.

Now – she’s 2 years old.  The terrible, terrific twos. I love seeing her grow.

I know this moment will be a memory all too soon.

So today – I let the laundry pile up, I let the emails sit, I ignored the dishes.

I kissed her and hugged her a lot more.  I welcomed each slobbery kiss.  I found excitement in each “Momma – will you read to me.”  I found joy in her need to *help* me in every chore…let her put on her clothes even though it took 30 minutes to get dressed, let her *make* her breakfast (open up her cereal bar), I let myself be lost in her innocence.

I miss so many moments of hers. Not because I work but because I find other things that are so much more important than enjoying this time..you know..the internet, the schedules, the to-do list that is getting longer and longer each passing minute.

Of course she tested my temper and my patience.  And like so many times before -I found myself raising my voice but this time I stopped.

Suddenly – I welcomed the tantrum.  I was ok with the battle of cleaning up her toys or using the potty.  Because I realized this moment is one I will miss when I suddenly have a daughter who may not want my kisses or my hugs, who doesn’t need to be read to, who is suddenly no longer innocent.

For a few moments today – I let myself just be an audience to this great production of being a two year old.  Let her be the star in the show…and I looked happily and joyfully as she stole the spotlight (and my heart) once again.

 

Comments

  1. Oh my goodness I did the EXACT same thing this morning with C….we had a dance off…if you can remember my dancing days in college I’m sure you know who won!