Just hold her

My quiet time in the mornings used to be ritual. My day wouldn’t start until I read the Bible and write in my journal. These days – I try to have quiet time at least 4-5 days a week. The past few days I’ve made it a point to really sit down and pray. It’s always amazing what happens when you make time for God and with Him.

With the days being structured around Iz’s feedings and her naps – everything else just kind of works its way into our days. Maybe I get to the laundry, maybe I get to the store, maybe I get to nap…maybe is the word around here these days.

So, the past few days I’ve been praying for God just to work in my life how He wants to. I’m guilty of asking for things that I want and not really asking for God to reveal to me what He wants. With the days so unpredictable, I decided to let God give me His list of things to do. And on His list for me the past few days:

“Just hold her. Hold your daughter.”

Izzy is normally a great napper. The past few days she’s been extra fussy and really just wants to be held. I would get tired of holding her and put her in her Boppy and stick her paci in her mouth so I could get “more important” things done – like ironing, cleaning, paying bills.

But I was proven wrong – again. With Isabelle changing every second, these are the times I need to stop and enjoy her. I need to hold my sweet girl because even how she feels in my arms changes from moment to moment. What a great revelation God showed me and how thankful I am He did before I blinked and she’s all grown up.

Just this morning I woke up to the sounds of my babbling 6 week baby. I looked down at a changed girl. She sprouted over night and looks “older.” Her face has changed, her body is longer, her arms and legs move stronger, her cries sound different, her eyes more expressive. She’s a little heavier, cheeks fuller – my Angel faced baby girl is growing up.

It’s so cliche and everyone says it – but time truly does fly. I don’t understand why I thought – think- there is so much more to do that is so much more important than being a mother to her. I’ve been blessed to be able to stay at home with her full time – for at least awhile. I know I can’t get this time back. I just look at her and try to make memories. I try to capture her baby features and imprint them on my heart.

Thank God for His message to me. Thank God for showing me today – the most important thing I have to do above all else is to “just hold her…”

Comments

  1. Czarina! I just read through many of your postings! How beautiful for you to capture all these amazing experiences. I have truly enjoyed reading what I hopefully have to look forward to soon, when we welcome our little one into the world. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

  2. A. you just made me cry.
    B. I'm gonna go hold my girls now :)