Say what?

I’m going crazy.


We have been in the hospital close to a month (don’t forget – this is our 2nd hospital stay since Evan was born) and I have mini-breakdowns throughout the day.

I also have moments where I laugh like the Joker or Rick Carlisle (only Ticket P-1s will understand that) for no reason at all.

I’m exhausted – emotionally, physically, and mentally.

There are days where I don’t leave Evan’s room and all day I’m surrounded by the beep beep of the machines and people in white coats.

When I’m this tired, I tend to just say things and fail to put my filter up to sort out the stupid that sometimes cascades out of my mouth – you know – verbal diarrhea.

What’s best is the reaction I get from whomever I am speaking to….


Doctor:  I’m sorry the residents came into your room last night again without really having to.  I know it was late.

Me:  It’s ok. I asked them why they had to come in.

Doctor:  Well – you have to let them in – just to check on him.

Me:  I actually said it in my head – just another voice in there that I hear.

Doctor:  *Silence*


*While trying to collect urine in a specimen bag*

Nurse:  Oh he’s fussy today.

Me:  Well – you’d be fussy too if you had a plastic bag around your genitals.

Nurse:  Ummm….you’re right?


Resident:  He’s playful today.  See how his arms are moving around!

Me:  No – he’s just throwing gang signs.  He’s thug like that.

Resident:  Oh – ok.


Doctor:  He’s having really bad reflux. 

Me:  I know – he may get it from my side of the family.  My daughter had it.

Doctor:  He’s also pretty gassy.

Me:  Yeah – he gets that from me.

Doctor:  *Silence*


Ya’ll – let’s pray Evan is able to hold is feeds down.  That’s the only thing keeping us from coming home.  Because the longer I stay in this place….the crazier I become.




  1. Gosh, I wish I were there for all of those moments. You are one of the only people that can also hear the voices in my head.

  2. that’s terrible that you’re so tired, but VERY funny to imagine their faces! And seriously, sometimes they say the dumbest things! 🙂 i’ll pray for his little stomach to keep it all in! 🙂