Slowly but surely

The cardiologist walked in the room – the one who’s been following Evan since he was born – and said, “You two look happy.”

Evan was finally in my arms.  After 7 days of not holding him, 1 catheter, surgery, an emergency catheter, a scary night in recovery, seeing him on a ventilator, on drugs for days..

I was finally holding my boy.

They weaned him off of another medication.

They took out his breathing tube.

My boy is breathing on his own.

My son made me proud once again.

I’ve met a few of the other moms in the CICU and there’s a consensus amongst us – our children are miracles.

There’s also a consensus amongst us – this is the hardest thing we have ever been through and there is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing your child fight for their life.

We all share the same fears, rejoice in the same victories.

I don’t know why we are so blessed that Evan survived his surgery and is now in recovery while another mom had to say goodbye to her child.

There is an overwhelming fear in the back of my mind of the future open heart surgery Evan will have to undergo months down the line.

…So I looked up at the cardiologist while I was holding my boy, smiled and said, “I am happy. I just can’t believe this is only his first surgery and we’ll be back here in a few months.”

He walked over to me, squeezed my shoulders and said, “You can’t look to that time.  Life is now.  Living is today.  Today, you are holding your son.  Today, is a good day.”

Yes it is.

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Evan is still recovering slowly.  He is having some problems feeding.  His gag reflex is on overdrive and he gags and vomits his feeds along with his medications.  They’ve made some adjustments on his meds and on his feeds.  He is still tube fed and now struggling when he hadn’t before.

He also has some fluid in his lungs still that they hope to take off of him in the next few days. They are weaning him off of the oxygen support but still needs some since his lungs are fully well yet.

He is recovering slowly and I am so thankful that he is on the upswing.

I just miss my baby girl and my husband and home.

So please pray:

– That Evan is able to hold down his feeds and adjusts well to his medications.

– His oxygen levels stay within the normal range.

– He stays free from infection.

– His vocal cords heal (his cry is still very raspy and he may have some paralysis in his cords).

– That my boy gets rest so his body allows itself to heal.

Thank you for your prayers!