Thanksgiving 2013

I’m not sure what to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

If you read my last post, we shared a part of  journey with Evan that we are getting ready to take.

We are set to travel to Boston to get another opinion on his special heart.

But, in the midst of this storm…another perfect storm has been erupting.

Isabelle suddenly got sick – out of nowhere – she woke up Saturday with a cold.

The weather in Texas turned from the 80s to the 30s within 12 hours.

And, Isabelle and Evan would be stuck in the house together for a solid 10 days since school was out for the holiday.

Unlike in their everyday…Isabelle decided to share this time.

Unfortunately, it’s not toys…but her cold.

So, our boy is snot nosed, miserable, mess…but he’s in the comforts of his bed with his blankies to love on.

It was the perfect storm and now I have two sickies to love on this day of Thanks.

Here’s the funny thing about Thanksgiving…isn’t it easy to give thanks when all is right with the world.

The kids are listening and obeying like the should.

The house is picked up.

The errands are all run.

The laundry hamper is empty and all the clothes put away neatly.

The bank accounts aren’t stretched.

There’s a job to return to the next day.

Health runs in abundance for everyone…no medicine to worry about, no surgeries/chemos to plan for, no suffering of any kind.

What I’ve learned over the past two years…is that true Thanksgiving isn’t when all is right in the world.

True Thanksgiving is when your world is falling apart and the storm is raging louder, stronger, more fierce than you could ever imagine.

It’s when you are hanging on by a thread…when you have to tell yourself to breathe…when you are praying for- not the day to pass quickly – but the minutes to tick on.

It’s when you are searching and hoping and praying for a glimmer of hope and relief…for peace to fill you…when turmoil has riddled your life.

Thanksgiving day is – ok should – be about enjoying times with your loved ones as you feast on the abundance of blessings (turkey, health, etc).

But, for so many of us, today is about digging deep and finding a minute amount of gratitude to get us through the day…or the hour…or the minutes.

The funny thing is…for those who are suffering…it’s in their digging that they find that their minute amount of gratitude is actually a mountain.

They take every speck of thanks…and build it up.

I’m thankful for my house.  I’m thankful for the food in my fridge even though it may not be much.

I’m thankful for the clothes piling up.  I’m thankful for the sleepless night in my bed…because well…I’m in a bed.

I’m thankful for the extra pounds I’m trying to lose…because that means I haven’t been hungry.

I’m thankful for the fights with my spouse and the whining of my kids…so blessed to be surrounded by both and not alone.

I’m thankful for the medicine helping my child.

I’m thankful for the chemo helping my mom/sister/brother/spouse/child.

I’m thankful for the next heart surgery I get to hand my son over for..because that means he’s still fighting.

I could go on and on.  I could continue to look at the lives around me and help those I know and love build their mountains of thanks…giving them a speck of what seems like such a tiny bit of gratitude but is really just a small little part of the mountain of thanks that sits before us.

But, I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to tell someone how grateful they should be.

Because, well, that’s obnoxious.

I do want to tell them…you…me…that even when chaos, and heartache, and pain, and suffering is what your life looks like right now…I see you.  I see in your tears, your grumbling, in your complaining, in your pain…that you are silently giving thanks for just being in this moment.

So today…in the midst of my storm…I’m thankful for you.  Thankful there are people in this world that can show me what true thanksgiving looks like and be reminders to others what we should truly be thankful for.