Tight rope

I really never went to the circus as a kid. Clowns scare me.

But, one act that always amazed me was the tight rope walkers. I mean, come on! Walking in a straight line and trying to keep your balance – I only had to do that once in the middle of the night, after I had left a party and the copped stopped me…wait…err..never mind…

But really, it’s a balancing act that takes true skill.

And it’s something that all mother’s have to master.
Walking the tight rope.

something I’ve realized is that parenting is all about balance. You don’t want to go in one direct too far and when you realize you may doing something wrong, you quickly have to readjust yourself or you’re going to fall, or fail.

Balancing act #1 – the nursing act – I was sure by the time Iz was 6 months old she would be completely weaned from breast feeding and on formula full time. I teeter tottered throughout the first couple of months – should I give her formula, should I just nurse her? I knew that if I nursed her exclusively it would be beneficial for her immunity. But then I also knew that if I introduced formula at a feeding or two, it would get her used to bottle feeding and formula in general. So, I walked that tight rope – leaning one way towards only nursing…realizing I had to try formula soon…but I had walked the tight rope too long…and I couldn’t get my balance back – and now my soon to be toddler is completely turned off by formula and won’t take one sip of it. Oops – off the rope I went…

Balancing act #2 – the playmate act – I want to be Isabelle’s best friend and not just her milk cow. Craig walks into the door and you’d think Edward Cullen walked in…she is THAT happy. But, since I’m with her throughout the day, I can’t be up in her two teethed mini grill all day. I have shows to watch, er, chores to do. More importantly, I want her to learn a bit of independence and I need to be ok with allowing her to play independently. I try to balance my time with her – giving her time to play in her baby cage as I work out on the elliptical, every once in a while she’d look up from her toys, give me a smile as I huff and puff to Rhianna, and go back to playing. Then there are times I put her down, take two steps from her baby cage, and she screams like she just saw the Volturi (sorry…I am re-reading “Breaking Dawn”…vamps on the brain). I try to balance both – walking the tight rope as her playmate and showing her it’s ok to have alone time (and how absolutely awesome alone time can be…spoken like a mom who lacks alone time, eh).

Balance act #3 – the ouchie act – I don’t ever want Isabelle to be in any pain. Her cries when she’s upset are sad enough. And I know when she hurts, man, her cries are down right heart breaking. But now that she’s crawling and pulling up AND cruising, I can’t put her in a bubble wrap suit and move into a gigantic bounce house. Hold on a sec…how awesome would that be…sorry…I’m weird. So, she’s a 7 month old on her way to toddler hood. On her way to terrorizing my beautiful, little house. Before she becomes Satan, aka, a toddler, she needs to learn how to stand and walk. But her tiny little stick chub legs are still learning balance – and she’s going to fall. And when she falls – she’s going to get ouchie’s. And then she’s going to cry. And then I’m going to feel bad for letting her fall even though I know in my heart there is NO way I can follow her around all day. And then I’m going…you get it. Trying to balance protecting her and letting her learn on her own…

So what do we do Mommies? How do we balance and walk the tight rope? Because let’s be real…there we’ll face different balancing acts as we go through motherhood. Welp – we wear harnesses. Harnesses composed of other Mommies who’ve been there, harnesses of friends who are willing to take your calls of frustration, and harnesses composed of spouses who are supporting us and rooting us on. We’re going to try to walk it. We’re going to lean one way too far sometimes and maybe even fall. But, we’re not going to do it alone. Rely on those around you – those that love you – to pull you back up and catch you before you fall.

Comments

  1. Girlfriend! You HAVE to write a book! Seriously! You r such an awesome writer!

  2. jessicanjj says:

    Hi Czarina, I came across your blog through the stroller strides/luna moms message board, and started reading since we live in the same area and my son is just a month younger than your daughter… you should try mixing the formula with breast milk at first and see if she'll take it, that helped us. We hope to make it to a meet up soon so maybe we'll see you around sometime.

  3. hang in there, czarina! you're right, it's absolutely a balancing act. one that takes a long time to figure out. it takes failures and successes, hurts and joys, and one that only you and craig can try to figure out together. i wish there was a magic wand to wave to make our lives easier, but unfortunately the "answer" is so unique to each of us and our families. :)
    you're doing a great job! :)