I can and I will

I loved the movie, “The Help”

I loved the part where the maid would speak daily affirmations to the sweet little girl.

“You is smart.”

“You is kind.”

“You is important.”

I started doing something similar to Iz after I watched the movie.

I tell her daily.

“You’re smart.”

“You’re kind.”

“You’re unique.”

“You are loved.”

I wasn’t sure if she actually understood what I was saying or if it really affected her in anyway.

But, randomly, she’ll come up to me, give me a hug and a kiss, and say, “Mama…I’m smart.  I’m loved.”  Beaming with pride as she says it.

And I love that for her.

I love that the words that I speak to her and to her heart  seep into her soul.  Strengthen her spirit.  Build her up.

I decided to start doing that with Evan the moment I found out we were having his open heart surgery.

I cry way to much.  And, yes, friends, I get that I’m “allowed” to.

Maybe I’m just crazy…but I know my boy feels my heart break every time I look at him with tears falling.  I know he senses a change in his Mama.

So, I decided…in the next few days before the big day…I’m going to muster up all the strength in me to build up the strength in him.

I wish for anything that I could take his place on Monday.  I wish for anything I could bear the pain…wear his scars.

But, I can’t.  It wasn’t my purpose in this life to bear those wounds.  And I’ll never, ever, ever understand why it is his…

And I tell him…”Your beautiful scars…wear them proudly, son.”

I try to picture myself as Mary – Mother of Jesus – telling the Son – “Your beautiful scars….wear them proudly, son.”

I bet she wanted to take His place, too…

But, I tell my boy – almost all day long,

“You are strong.”

“You can DO this!”

“You’ll fight through the pain.”

“You’ll fight to open your eyes.”

“I have no doubt you’ll get through the next week and come back better than before.”

“I have no doubt that God will see you through this.”

“I have no doubt hundreds are praying for you.”

“You just fight.  You just fight with all you have.”

I tell him that over and over and over again.

He looks at me with his perfect beautiful eyes, smiles his big ole grin, touches my face…and I can hear him speak to my heart,

“I can and I WILL.”


I ask friends to please pray for my boy like you have so diligently been doing.

I know Monday is a big day…many starting school that day.

I’ll pray for good first days of schools for all those with littles starting.  I’ll pray for my teacher friends, too!


So…today…I’ll give you my list of prayer requests.  Share them with all you know…keep them in mind this weekend if you don’t mind.

– Pray for a quiet, uneventful weekend and that Evan stays healthy.

– Pray for a successful surgical repair.

– Pray for wisdom for his surgeon as he makes the decisions on which direction to take for Evan’s repair – a full repair or staged repair.

– Pray for his surgical team – the nurses, the anesthesiologists, the cardiologists, everyone.

– Pray AGAINST – stroke, clots, bleeding, infection, arrythmias

– Pray that God protect Evan’s vital organs and his brain during the surgery, while on bypass, and in recovery.

– Pray that Evan is able to come off of bypass successfully and that his heart beats strong.

– Pray for an uneventful recovery.  Again…pray he stay infection free.  Pray AGAINST – stroke, clots, bleeding, infection, arrythmias. Pray for protection of his vital organs and his brain.  The recovery is just as critical.  The first 72 hours are very, very rocky and we need Evan to pull through those hours…which he will.

– Pray for his ICU team – that during those critical hours- they make smart and quick decisions to help my boy get back to his best self.

– Pray for peace for all of us – Craig, Iz and I – and for the rest of our family.

– Pray that my boy is protected…is kept safe…no matter what.


 Please remember to check his public Facebook site for updates as I receive them during his surgery:



  1. Again you bring me to tears, Czarina! Thank you for opening my eyes to giving my daughter affirmation about her scars- she is close to an age when she will be so conscious of them at school. Your word picture of Mary speaking to Jesus made me catch my breath. Wow. We will be praying for all you ask. <3 to you.

  2. We prayed for you all today at church. 🙂 And we’ll continue through surgery and in the coming weeks.

  3. Praying!!!!!!! And I will continue to pray for your sweet baby!

  4. I saw a post on a friend’s FB page and it lead me to your blog. Please know that your son is in my prayers.

  5. I am a friend of Cassidy’s. I just wanted to stop by and tell you that your family is in our prayers.

  6. Rhonda Book says:

    Father God, Lord Jesus, thank you so much for this beautiful family and beautiful baby boy, Evan. I’m so sorry for everything they are going through right now, but your word promises that you will work ALL things for good for those who love you and are called according to your purpose (Rom 8:28). Thank you, Lord for that promise and every other promise you promise us in the Bible. I ask that today especially, that you will wrap your loving arms around Evan and his entire family (especially Mommy and Daddy) and give them supernatural peace that only you can give in knowing you are in control. I pray for supernatural wisdom for every single person on the medical staff that may come in contact with baby Evan, especially the surgeon(s). Guide their hands and minds,Lord. I pray that you will protect Evan from any kind of infection, blood clot, or any other abnormality from entering his sweet little body. Give him strength, Lord. Help him through every step of the process so that he will come out strong. I pray for favor for the whole family through every person and situation they will encounter today and in the near future. Please assure them in ALL things that above all else that you love baby Evan even more than they do. Thank you for everything you are doing her Lord and for loving this family so much. I pray that every minute of this situation will bring you glory. In Jesus mighty name, amen.

  7. I told my son about your son’s surgery this morning and then dropped him off. As I turned the corner there was a BEAUTIFUL rainbow. It struck me as God was promising all would go well today!! You are in my prayer’s but I wanted to share that with you.

  8. We’re praying for you, Evan, and the family. Reading your blog today, I was reminded of the song from Phillips, Craig, and Dean “Tell Your Heart To Beat Again” and the story behind it. I hope this blesses you:

    The Story:

    The Song: